You Eat What?

As a long-time vegetarian, I find it laughable when vegetarians tell me that “A little meat,gelatin, or fish won’t  hurt you” as if they alone know the rules of what is appropriate  for my vegetarian regimen. I think it makes them feel better and are more socially concious if they dictate what I can or cannot eat. Somehow by permitting me to to eat the flesh off of a carcass makes that individual feel better about themselves because if I eat meat maybe they won’t feel as guilty. Either that, or people just want to corrupt vegetarianism!

I don’t know how many times I tell someone that I’m vegetarian and damned if they don’t ask if I eat chicken, fish, or even the white meat known as pork. Excuse me, but when did those animals become vegetables? You can’t be a little pregnant and you can’t be a little vegetarian. Speaking of pregnancy:

About 30 years ago, I remember reading the science magazine, Discover, that highlighted a story on people who ate the placenta of their newborn children. Several of them, vegetarian, claimed that this bloody-rich after-birth was pure, natural, and full of essential nutrients. All they were doing was harvesting and recycling nature’s bountiful treat. Thirty years later, vampires are trendy, disgusting foods are hot on food channels, and the novelty of drinking your own urine for non-survival purposes ( unless your Bear Gryls) is the new rage. What does Martha Stewart say? Is urine and sauteed placenta the perfect addition to a healthy gourmet meal? Is it even vegetarian? Look out Alfie Packer (another posting to come).

I for one whole-heartedly endorse recycling, but even I draw the line at a blood-drenched after-birth and a gleaming beaker of pee! The next time my host or hostess asks me where I draw the vegetarian line, I know to clarify that I don’t drink urine and I pass on placenta. Who knew being vegetarian was so complex? What do you think?